In part one, our heroine was experiencing some serious stress about the blog and life and balancing said blog with said life. And, admittedly, our heroine fell into that evil trap that so many before her warned about: The comparing the success of her blog with others. Yes, our heroine knows we are all running our own race. But once our heroine’s blogging moved from a solitary experience to actually engaging with other bloggers? Turns out the blinders were knocked off …
When I’m in, I’m all in.
So it should come as no surprise that my attempt to go offline failed …
… which leaves me with a bazillion unfinished projects. And a house that’s still a mess. Oh, and some very angry bill collectors …
Do I have a room to reveal to you this week?
No.
A new project to share?
No.
A confession?
Yes.
I’ve come to realize that, for me, blogging is like a drug.
And — again for me — trying not to blog could be likened to going through withdrawals …
You can just call me the Lindsay Lohan of blog rehab …
… and putting me under house arrest won’t help. Strapping a bedazzled monitor around my ankle will just make matters worse …
So while I didn’t blog much last week, it was never far from my thoughts. And, in fact, I spent much of last week working behind the scenes.
A behind-the-scenes that had me finally making a Facebook fan page for the Etsy …
A behind-the-scenes that had me cleaning up my Twitter account by “unfollowing” hundreds upon hundreds who I followed … and who didn’t bother to follow back.
A behind-the-scenes that had me researching potential sidebar sponsors and reaching out to some of those potential sponsors.
A behind-the-scenes that might result in my writing not one but *gasp* two blogs …
A behind-the-scenes filled with not one, not two, not three, not four, but five pillows to make and mail from my crazy post office.
So with my behind-the-scenes-filled week behind me, I don’t have any answers for all of you who have been so very supportive. And have offered some amazing advice and counsel. And have been so kindly waiting on part 2 …
… and all I have for you are some general observations and guidelines I plan to put into place …
1. My health and the health of my family needs to be #1. I bought a bike and now my daughter and I bike to her day camp each day. I’m joining weightwatchers.com on Monday. The Comcast “On Demand” 10-minutes Pilates classes need to become an integral part of my mornings. And come August when camp ends there will be many, many beach days … and our Florida trip to visit Nanny and Poppey has been booked …
2. Balance is key. And to achieve that balance I need to hold out “blogging” as a reward. It’s the carrot I’ll be chasing as I race around the track (with my blog blinders firmly in place) …
3. I need a schedule. Remember that chalkboard door I created in the kitchen?
… isn’t it the perfect place for me to write up a master schedule for my days? Sure there will be changes. Interruptions. But a master plan could help keep me on course most days.
4. Link party withdrawal. I’m cutting way back on the link parties. It’s too much to link and comment and visit. Overwhelming. My numbers may drop … but, hey, I’ve got those blinders firmly in place.
5. Blog posts. Over the next few weeks — as I settle into my schedule and work to get my house in picture-worthy shape — I may be cutting back on the number of posts that I post each week.
So that’s it. Nothing groundbreaking. But that’s my plan for now. It’s a plan filled with everything in moderation …
Which sounds easy, right? But remember … I’m an “all in” kind of gal …
… and with all that said, I’m heading out now to have some Margaritas and Mexican to celebrate 49 years on this earth. Which — technically — is the start of my 50th year.
… and yes, that scares the crap out of me …
Sharing at On Sutton Place …
I love your blog and the inspiration you provide. So no matter how you choose to handle it, I’ll be a loyal follower- here AND on Twitter, and on Pinterest…..and I <3 your Etsy shop. Hang in there!
First off, Happy Birthday Linda. I hope you have an excellent one!
I read your post and think “yea, I read the words and hear her voice in my head but moderation…ummm can she pull that off”?
I’m an all in it kind of gal too, so I know this will be hard for you. Here’s me wishing you good luck. Look forward to your next post, whenever that will be. Have a fabulous weekend. :0)
You go girl and happy birthday!!
Happy Birthday!! I’m a couple of years behind you so you’ll have to tell me how it goes!! And I must say I am so glad to hear that you will be sticking around! I have to admit you really are an inspiration to me with all you have done with your blog and all you are doing…. take care now!
Happy Birthday!! Love your plan, I should take notes as well!! Enjoy those ritas and CHEERS!!!
Oh, I hear ya! My blog is teeny tiny and I still feel like it takes over sometimes. I do always feel like I should be working out, but at the same time, I hate to miss out on the opportunity to link up. We’re all chasing that balance thing all the time.
Okay if I was going with you to have Mexican, i would probably order carnitas, then i would have a magarita with you, on the rocks with salt of course, then i would peer pressure you into doing a couple of shots of patron with me and i would bribe the mariachi band to play the lime and the coconut song! Then we would laugh at ourselves over all of this craziness!!
But since i cannot, i will just say, Happy Birthday Gal, be blessed today and everyday!!
I am so happy that I ran across this post tonight. I thought that I was the only one out there that felt this way 🙁 I have been on a hiatus from my own blog for about a month now…not sure if it will be permanent or not yet. I am an “all in” kind of gal as well and became a little consumed with blogging. But, I came to the realization that I was doing so much work on the computer that I was not actually doing the projects that I so loved to do, and more importantly, not spending the time I wanted to spend with my sweet little girls this summer. Life is too short to be stressed out by a blog! And, boy am I happy to not be thinking about linking up to parties anymore. Best of luck!!
Maggie
You make a lot of good points, but all I kept thinking the whole time was “I really LOVE the cool chalkboard door.” Sorry, I’m easily distracted.
LOL Marianne .. and why do come into my inbox as no reply?
I want you to know that age 50 was when I started having fun. (I’m 55 now and counting…) Fifty was when I decided men just really weren’t worth the trouble. But it took me another four years to figure out I wanted to be alone on Saturday nights with my doggies. Fifty was when I decided to say just exactly what I pleased. Which means it barely hits my brain before it curves right out of my mouth. And while it’s open, I’ll have some chocolate, thank you very much.
Brenda
Hey,
I too am having second thoughts about blogging. Of course mine is still small on followers and I don’t have an Etsy shop. I keep thinking about why I wanted to blog in the first place: A little lonely for some creative friends, looking for public recognition for the things I do and make, a selfish need to do a little showing off. It was fun at first. I would get so excited to see a comment or a new follower. I would see things that was cool and I wanted to try them to. Then I would be upset if I didn’t get any comments. And the worst thing of all is the money that I have spent buying things for projects, or the time junking for great finds, just so I had things to blog about. Hours pass sitting in front of the computer not just posting but looking through so many other’s blogs, commenting or following just to get them to follow back. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great creative people and blogs out there and I have been inspired by their words and projects! I never would have discovered Chalk Paint if I had not been blogging or learning to use drop cloth fabric! I have cut way back and even spent a two week vacation unplugged from technology….yes there was withdrawal but toward the end, I was much more productive, more creative, and calm. I don’t want to stop blogging or viewing other blogs, it is fun but the reasons for, and the behaviors that it causes in me are not making me happy anymore.
Thank you for saying what I am sure many, many, bloggers are thinking and feeling themselves. Your words inspired me to speak out tonight.
Happy Birthday Linda!
Happy Birthday, Linda.
I think holding the blogging as a carrot is a brilliant idea. {perhaps that idea will translate into more laundry done for me over here at the “estate”}…
You are right, though. It’s hard not to compare. But one thing I took away from the SITS conference, is that blogging is truly individual…that we can’t really compete with others…
Ooh, I hope you are at de ceros on randolph! it’s my favorite mexican place. Killer mango margaritas…
Once life falls back into place, let’s try that coffee again.
N
When I started my blog, I told my husband that I wanted to have an outlet to share my projects, and connect with people like me. For me it has to be fun. when fun turns into stress…that’s bad. I don’t need more stress. I do the blog for me, not for others. Also I made a vow to myself, that if/when the blog takes first place in my life…it will have to go! I don’t want to miss out reading to my children, laughing and play with them because I have to finish my latest project and post it 7pm. For everyone is different, but for me I want to fully live my life while having “fun” creating and sharing my projects…that said, I enjoy reading your blog!
Can I nod enthusiastically to this one, too? You have wise readers. 😉 I hope you’re able to find the balance that you need! I do love your blog! 🙂
Happy, Happy Birthday- You will love your 50’s when you hit them next year! I am glad you have a plan…at least now you know that blogging really IS important to your life and that you will work it as best you can. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend- Blessings- xo Diana
It must be in the water!
I’m not 50 …YET; but approaching it soon enough. I have thoughts about ‘who am I’ in this bloggy atmosphere. Do I want to increase my time here by opening a store, by pursuing sponsors,by tweaking photos…by making connections, by adding one more thing?!
On the one hand I think I’m just about to get started and on the other…I think I’m finished!
Glad to know I’m not alone… I enjoyed this post.
Oh…and Happiest of birthdays to you! Pat
LOVE this post. When I can get my act together and figure out how to pubish an ebook, I’ll send you a copy. I am writing on “Finding a Balance in Blogging” You are my inspiration to get that project going. 🙂 Just clicked to follow – thanks Linda and yes – happy Birthday!
You are hilarious, I love it sometimes I feel like it just isn’t enough but then have to step back. And tell myself that the family has to come first
Yay for you!! I hope you achieve that balance…and then share the secret with certain other bloggers that become obsessive (not me of course :)). Love you and need you to be in fine form for this fabulous blog…so take good care of yourself!
There you go! And I have lived long enough to tell you that FIFTY is FABULOUS!!! You’ll love it!
Agreeing with Kirby here…50 is fabulous! I cut back on my posting and my parties and I don’t miss it a bit! I still enjoy reading and commenting on other peoples posts. LOL about the Lindsy Lohan of blogging!! You’ll be fine!
Great plan, Linda! You know I love the master schedule idea. Nothing a little list with the satisfaction of crossing off that which you accomplish to get you on the right track. And Happy, Happy Birthday!! Glad you came to this realization so it didn’t ruin what is sure to be a fabulous 50th year. 🙂
Linda,
YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! 😀
And Happy Birthday!
Pam (non-blogger)
Thank you so much Pam! You made my day with your YAAAAAYYYY!!!
Not sure which got too big to send you into such a quandary, your blog or your blogger butt, but sounds like you are putting your mouth where your money is and your pilates where your butt is.
Bliss
I’m going to be 49 in August and have that same sense of dread! Have a drink for me.
Happy Birthday! I think your post about your self-reflection and conclusions from last week is a very good thing. I do believe blogging is addictive. For creative and intelligent (and maybe competitive) women especially, I believe it stimulates our brains almost in the same way endorphins do. I’m totally serious. It’s not hard to fall into living cerebrally and neglect the reality that’s around us. I struggle with it, too, and have done some of the things you’re doing, like a schedule and weight watchers. Some days I adhere to it better than others. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I, for one, “get” all that you say, and am rooting for you! I follow you because I like your writing style and what you have to say and I like your sense of style. Those things won’t change if you post less, and I’ll still be right here, glad to see a new feed on my sidebar when it comes. Appreciating your honesty and candor, and sending good karma back your way.
Read an article in Newsweek this week about the addictive qualities of online interaction, and how that interaction is actually changing our brains. It gave me more than pause. Actually, it kinda scared the crap out of me. Cane and I have gotten really firm about screen time limits for the kids, and we realized this week we really need them for ourselves, too. Not so conducive for growing the blog, but really conducive to growing healthy lives. Hope you have a wonderful birthday, with all kinds of joy and health and success in the coming year.
Nodding enthusiastically at this comment “Not so conducive for growing the blog, but really conducive to growing healthy lives.” So well said. Happy almost birthday to you, Linda!
Linda,
Happy birthday! I agree it does take up allot of time.I will still be here to read your posts when you are ready 🙂
(((((Hugs))))
Anne
happy happy bday, linda! 50th year–been there, done that, and guess what—it’s no different than any other year:)
Happy birthday!! I’ve been saying that blogging is totally a drug. It sucks you in, gives you positive feedback and makes you hungry for more. I’m glad you’re finding balance! We’ll be here when you’re ready, but no pressure, no rush. 🙂
Hope you have a very happy birthday! I recently turned 51 and am trying hard to “claim the number” as I say – 50 seemed easier… wish we could hit 50 and then go backwards! Glad you will continue to blog – I rarely comment on blogs – but I love to read them. Thanks for keeping up the hard work!
Happy Birthday! I, too, have been struggling with blogging. I just hit my 6 month mark last week and I’m getting overwhelmed. One of my biggest problems is thinking that I can blog while using dial up. I can’t visit others like I should and want to because it just takes so long! I have already started making some changes. Next week, I’m getting satelite internet which is all that is offered in our area. I am also limiting my posts and linky parties. Hopefully, I can get some balance back and get my house CLEAN! Blessings, Tammy
Happy Birthday. Savor all that you’ve accomplished and keep on dreaming. It will all happen!
I can relate, blogging is addicting and can turn into a monster real fast. I slowed down too, ok I slowed down a little, very little but I did. Totally understand, Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday! 50 is no big deal, BTDT and survive. Keep your healthy goals, physical and emotional. Your kids will be grown before you know it if you don’t. I didn’t start blogging till I was 56, and I’m taking it slow, as I must because of life-long poor health, take care!
Janet
Normally, I would never encourage a person to feed their addiction, but I commend you this time because you are saving so many people! Imagine all of the cases of withdrawl people all over the country would experience if suddenly your blog was gone or even available only occasionally! The therapist’s office would have people lined up at the door! Your house will eventually get to the place you want it to be. I happen to be a writer myself and my husband and I are entering our 17th year in this house with a master bedroom of beige walls, a beige comforter and great old furniture of different colors in various stages of re-finishing. Oh well, I’m really okay with it. You will be too.
Oh my goodness, I signed off with my wishes to you for a wonderful birthday and wishes for many happy returns. BTW, I’m 54, the years after 50, get easier.
Happy Birthday Linda!
You will find a balance between blogging and everyday life. Having worked online ( my web and graphic design biz) for over 12 years I generally try not to even turn my computer on over the weekend…failed today but I have had a vacation week so I am trying to do some catch up! I refuse to have a smart phone too as the last thing I want when I am out and about is a way to check my email/facebook/twitter…..Getting away from the computer is liberating.
Amen sister! I think your priorities are exactly right.
I know what you mean. I dropped off the face of blog world for a while because I got a bit of burnout, and am slowly easing back into it. I’m going to have to have a schedule and a stop watch. It’s just so doggone addictive when you get new likes and followers and get featured. We all just want to be liked, after all!
Good luck with the balancing act. Your family needs you more than your blog friends do! But I always enjoy reading your posts.
Angie
I love this post, I love what you are up to and I love that you took some time to get things figured out for yourself! AND happy birthday—-late…. but still! 🙂
Jaime
Happy birthday!! What a fabulous gift you’re giving yourself – moderation! After all, 50 years from now, we won’t be looking back and saying in our last dying breath, “I should have blogged more”! Enjoy your family time, trip to FL and most importantly having fun!
Kelly
Happy Birthday to you!!!!….You definitely have the right attitude…famiy first…and then everything else will fall into place….There is enough pressures in life and the pressure of thinking you need to blog often takes the “fun” out of blogging….Make sure you experience your “true joy”…your loved ones…first and foremost….AND, I truly enjoy just reading about your thoughts (no project required)….
Happy Birthday!
and seriously, family and RL should come first. Balance is good. Breathing is good.
We’ll be here for the outcome, whatever you decide it will be.
The blackboard idea? A good one if you keep the things on your ‘list’ to a small number. Otherwise, it will just lead to more stress. I’m TOTALLY a list person, but I’ve learned to not let it overwhelm me. Keep it short and manageable.
Good luck! We’ll be rooting for you!
🙂
Kristy
SAStudio.etsy.com
Happy birthday!
And happy to hear you’re still here. 🙂
Happy Birthday!
Good luck on your health, blogging and project endeavors.
So glad you are figuring things out and aren’t abandoning us here in blogland! 🙂 Good luck with everything!
Happy Birthday! You will love your fifties-it’s a good time. Wow! You were very busy during your week off from blogging. Sounds like you are moving rapidly to the next level. Good luck as you launch forward!
Oh Linda, We have spoken about this in the past, and I must admit that I am torn. On the one hand, I’d like to read a little Linda every day. (Is that so wrong?) On the other hand, it’s almost comforting to know that someone whom I admire suffers with some of the same struggles that I do. Admittedly, I’ve never been as committed to my blog as you are to yours (but I would like to be…) Anyway, I know it will be inspiring to watch as you adjust things. I’ll be taking notes 😉
Happy Birthday!
Elena
Good for you! I have a hunch your numbers won’t drop… What I’ve experienced since my own reshift and rebalace (which includes way fewer posts per week) is a climb in numbers. Who would’ve thought? I feel happier, healthier, and my blog is just as important to me now as it was before this, but it’s my approach to it that has changed. I feel like, by honouring my own process, the process is honouring me back! Here’s to you!!!
Happy Belated Birthday! I too, am going with the moderation and limiting my time on blog related stuff. But I will always read yours even if I am behind and need to catch up a few at a time! Good for you and taking the time to assess what your family and you need.
Hugs,
Bj
Happy 50th year Linda! Good luck keeping the blinders on. I know it can be difficult. I often think that blogging is like being in Jr High school all over again. I have to keep reminding myself – I am a 54 year old adult woman and I am competent creative and complete…over and over again. I believe you are too! Hey, did you read the Zippy books yet?
I’m a little late but Happy belated Birthday, Linda! I love your honesty and admire your strength and resolve. Balancing it all is a tough job, but have to agree – family first. I just read somewhere that “blogging is your community, not your competition” (I’ve been visiting so many this morning, I can’t remember where! ugh!) but that stayed with me and it’s so true. I’m glad you’re here. It’s how we met. 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend!
Oh Linda. I know it’s already been said in the comments but I feel your pain. I am (even though I know I shouldn’t) constantly comparing my blog to others. I look at blogs that have sponsors and tons of followers and wonder what they have that I don’t. Lately I’ve been concentrating more on my Etsy shop. At least I can see results with that. But I posted a few days ago about a bunch of new items and I haven’t sold a single thing. So does that mean no one is reading my blog or does it mean they don’t like my stuff? Who knows? I remembered that you mentioned going to Bloggy Boot Camp in Chicago so I looked it up. It would probably cost me close to $1000 if I were to go. So I’m not…and I’m sort of irritated about that too. Last night my hosting service shut my blog down and I spent the entire evening trying to get back online. I was on the verge of tears for hours. I kept thinking to myself “Isn’t blogging supposed to be fun?” Well it hasn’t been so fun lately. I don’t know what to do. But knowing someone else feels the same way somehow helps. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty. Have a good weekend and hope you had a great birthday. I haven’t been able to tell my fifties from my forties…so no worries on that. :o)
Thanks for keepin it real Linda! I feel like my computer is both my best friend and my worst enemy. Keeping a balance is HARD!! Hope you find your ‘groove’ girl.
Just back from my blogging vacation – no computer at all! It was awesome, and I actually focused on the baby so she doesn’t feel like a she’s in 4th place behind the big two and the blog:)
Happy belated bday!
Linda, you have given a voice to what so many are thinking. After reading everyone’s comments, it seems that established limits and boundaries are working for most people. I hope your new plan is successful for you and I hope you celebrated your 50th royally.
I already wrote you a book in my previous comment so this time I’m just thanking you for linking up to our party…I appreciate it more than you can know.